Are you a nice person?
Do you want your loved ones to get in shape?
My guess is, you are a nice person and you want your loved ones to get in shape.
Years ago, I used to pull my hair out in frustration because people were not listening when I told them to change.
It took me many painful years to figure out the answer myself, but once I did, life was easy.
I’ll share this strategy that will make your loved ones thank you for the rest of your life or hate you if you do not follow it.
Here is the strategy that has worked for hundreds of my students.
Do They Want Your Help?
In about a decade of helping people out with their weight, I have seen patterns that are evident.
People want to lose weight, but are usually held back by a couple of reasons.
One major reason is that their ‘loved ones’ (family/friends) are also overweight and it seems okay to be that way.
That is Not the problem.
The problem arises when You want to change but you also try to change them but they do Not want to change.
If they don’t want to change, they will also hinder your change.
Why? Because you’ll waste your time trying to change them instead of investing your time in your workouts.
I have a simple technique I use to figure out whether a person should be helped or not.
It involves asking 2 questions.
First, has the person explicitly asked for my help?
Would you randomly stop someone on the street and give them directions to your house?
Of Course Not!
Why do you tell other people to lose weight then?
You might think that the answer is ‘I care about my loved ones’, I’ll get to that in a while.
If the person has not explicitly asked for my help, I will NOT help them.
I won’t open my mouth to give them advice.
I won’t send them content that talks about weight loss.
I keep my mouth shut.
This works, read until the end.
The second question is, has this person earned my help?
To illustrate this, I want to give you an example of a mentor of mine.
Let’s call him Jacob.
Jacob is a big guy known in the startup circles, very experienced.
He gets 100s of requests for help every single day.
He needs a way to figure out who is serious and who is not.
So he devised a simple method.
Every time some one approaches him with X, Y or Z request.
He will suggest a book that has the answer the person is looking for and asks them get back to him.
Do you know how many people ACTUALLY read the book and get back to him?
2-3 out of a 100.
Only 3% people actually get back to him.
Aren’t they interested in their growth?
Maybe they are, but they are not serious.
I was one of those 2-3 people who actually read the book and went back to him which is why we are friends to this day 6 years later.
This question actually serves 2 purposes.
First, it weeds out the people who are not serious. (Trust me, if they are not serious, you CANNOT change them)
Second, the people who do the work and come back value the help you give them much more.
If you help people without them having to earn it, people feel it is a god given right for you to help them and begin to take you for granted.
Coming to loved ones, if you put them through these 2 questions, would they pass both?
Most often, they do NOT.
Help them ONLY if they do.
Think about it, why would someone ask you for help?
Only when they think that you have the answer to their problems.
If you want to lose weight would you ask someone who has lost weight herself or would you ask someone who is obese?
You’d ask the person who lost weight herself.
This brings me to the final clincher.
When I teach my students this strategy, they understand why they have been failing at attempts to get their loved ones to change.
Now that their mind is free of excess cognitive load, they focus ONLY on their OWN health and fitness efforts without worrying about other people joining them.
Six months later, they get into great shape and all these people who had ignored their advice now come to them and ask for advice on how to lose weight and get into better shape.
You should definitely help loved ones, but there is a process to it.
Do NOT do something just because it feels right, do what is effective.
P.S The 21 Day Alkaline Detox Program is an excellent program to get started on a weight loss or health transformation journey. It has been uniquely crafted to minimise stress after years of research on human habits and Alkaline Eating. You can enrol here.
P.P.S You can get a One-One Consultation with me here.